I am adding another resolution. I resolve to get back to my blog. I miss it. I miss having a record of our family life, of my own struggles and successes, and I miss hearing from you! I also want to get back to my reading list! I have about 200 blog entries on my feed. I haven’t even tried to look. I’m overwhelmed now. It’s not that I don’t love you all. I do. I’m just so overwhelmed and I have been so distracted lately. I am distracted by good (my vocation) and not-so-good (many cares about many things, much of which is a waste of my time.)
It seems that when I finally decide to do something, I get a tad obsessed or hyper-focused. I know it is good to pay attention and in whatever we do, to do it from the heart as for the Lord, but I tend to miss that last part a bit. It seems that what I do, I do for me. For my own gain, my pride, my desires. Nothing wrong with wanting what is good, even for self, but the focus needs to come off of self and onto the Lord. I’m not balancing that very well. And it leaves me distracted from the Lord, from my vocation.
I go through the motions of doing all for the Lord, but that’s all it is. I see it and I try to fix it, to let go of things and do all, be all, seek all for God’s glory, and then I’m back to focusing on self.
I know this probably isn’t making any sense. It would require a lot for me to explain in detail. I don’t want to do that now. I just want to move forward and fix things!
I hope to be back more regularly to share our family and my vision, my struggles and my successes with you. I plan to share more of my internal things ~ the things that confuse me, the hopes that I have, the “enlightenment” that comes to me in prayer (occasionally!) the fruits of meditations on the Word and the words of holy men and women. These things have so much more value if they are shared and opened up for your consideration and input. I need you. And maybe, once in a while, you’ll find something here that you need, too. God can use any ol’ rusty tool, you know. 🙂
I hope that you’ll come back and see me!