I Like to Think

That I am a strong, courageous person. I don’t mean for it to sound arrogant. I just think I am normally pretty strong.

But there is this little weakness in my armor. It’s my heart. Most of the time my head can keep it captive. Most of the time I assess the risk and think of the numbers.

But sometimes, my heart breaks loose and takes over.

Today I am having one of those mornings. I can’t stop crying and I feel sick to my stomach. It is painful, but it is good for me, too. I need to deal with the other side of things no matter how strong or courageous I may feel most days.

My friend KC posted a link to a youtube video of Tim McGraw singing “If You’re Reading This,” on her blog. KC and her husband lost a good friend in Iraq. I can’t imagine.

This song dredged up all of my fears for my own men. Fears that I normally keep neatly stored away. Fears I choose to minimize in my day-to-day living. I choose to focus on the reality that many more come home safely after a job well done than sacrifice everything. But sometimes…. sometimes I am overwhelmed with the thought that even if the risk is relatively low, it is real. And during those times I break down. I completely break down.

If you have just a moment, would you say a prayer for me and for my brave men? We could sure use it.

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About becomewhatyouare

Catholic, Middle-Aged, Knitting-Addicted, Wife, Homeschooler, Mom of 6, Mom-in-Law to 1, Mother of 11 little saints, Grandma to 1, Godmother to 12, Foster Mom to 5, Army mom, Happily living in Texas!
This entry was posted in Deployment, Military Life, Our Catholic Family Life. Bookmark the permalink.

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