Titus Two-sday

Similarly, older women should be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to drink, teaching what is good, so that they may train younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good homemakers, under the authority of their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.

Titus 2: 3-5

As a mother, I hope that by my experience and my life that I can be a sort of mentor to other moms. I mean that I hope that they can see the things that I have learned that are good and come away either confirmed in what they’re trying to do or with an idea or two for something different to try. It is my hope that I can inspire hope in younger mothers that “this too shall pass” ~ REALLY!

Even with all of my warts, I hope that there are things worthy of inspiring others ~ for in spite of those warts, those struggles, I keep moving forward in faith that the Lord will supply where I lack. But above all I hope that, by the way I try to live, I confirm or inspire in them the idea that motherhood is a worthy vocation. Something, that to be done well and as God desires, requires full commitment, a single heart, deliberate action and loads of prayer.

I have always told my children, you ARE an example, you choose whether you’re a good one or a bad one. I truly hope that I am a good example more than a bad one ~ first because it means I am faithful to God’s call on my life and am truly loving my family, and second for the good that may be passed on to other women and their families. This is not usually conscious or deliberate, but occasionally, it is.

Occasionally, I have been asked by a woman to take her by the hand and help her to learn, to know how to live the vocation that is hers and how to love her husband and children. This has not happened often. When it does happen, it is usually women who’ve had difficult pasts and did not have a good role model who are asking for help finding their way. I think it is because they see the positives in our family and want to do something to get a bit closer to that in their own lives. The times I’ve been directly asked to do this really get me reflecting on what it means to be a Catholic mother. It helps me to check how I am living and it tests my own attitudes and views. Truly, I receive as much from this as I hope I can give. I admit I feel unqualified when I look at my failures, but the scriptures clearly instruct those of us who are “older women” to train the younger women and it is not true humility to not acknowledge what God has done in my life and my family, in spite of me and my weakness. If He has worked in me, who am I to not share what He has done with those who ask? So, in spite of myself, I do what I can.

When in a more formal mentoring relationship, I always start (and continue on) with a lot of prayer. Prayer, first, that the Lord show me where I am weak, where I sin, where my heart is divided. I need to know where I’m failing most at the moment and I need to beg God for the grace to overcome whatever it is (again.) The old adage that I try to live by here is: If it isn’t working at home, don’t export it! So, it is with prayer, the light of the Holy Spirit and the gift of humility exercised honestly that I begin. I pray also for wisdom, discernment, gentleness and courage throughout the friendship.

During our conversations, there are really just a half dozen things that I try to impart. Within these principles are many details and practical tips. If we are to have our head and our heart in our vocation as it truly is and is meant to be, there are but a few things that need to be “mastered” and all of the details will fall within those areas.

When I think of the basic principles of authentic Catholic motherhood, I think of these things:

• God first. Always first. Know him. Talk to Him. Listen to Him. Do what He tells you. Practice the faith, receive the sacraments.
• Motherhood is a fruit of marriage, so protecting and nurturing the marriage relationship is essential.
• Give your vocation your full time and attention. I know there are difficult situations, but I believe the best way to be the wife and mother you are called to be is to give it your full time and focus on it completely. Give motherhood a quantity of quality time.
• Love, love, love! Let all you do be fueled by love. The most mundane task can be totally transformed by love ~ love of God and love for husband and children.
• Realize that while it is so much more than a job, it is work. There are duties that are inherent in motherhood that we can’t just ignore. It will require a quantity of time.
• Be faithful

I really want to write down my own thoughts, ideas, opinions and meditations on these things. I surely can’t do it all at once, so I’ll try to hammer it out bit by bit. There will be those who don’t like what I have to say at all. There will those who disagree. I’m okay with that. I’m not out to convince everyone ~ or even anyone. If there is something to be embraced here, it will be the job of the Holy Spirit to do the convincing. If there is not, so be it.

Since this has been inspired by my own mentoring relationships, which exist because of the admonishment of Holy Scripture, especially in Titus 2, I’ve decided to start what I’m going to call “Titus Two-sday.” I think that writing a little bit on this topic once a week or every other week is manageable for me and it gives me time to ponder and pray about all of it between writings. I hope that there will be something useful here for someone ~ even if it’s only me.