That I am a strong, courageous person. I don’t mean for it to sound arrogant. I just think I am normally pretty strong.
But there is this little weakness in my armor. It’s my heart. Most of the time my head can keep it captive. Most of the time I assess the risk and think of the numbers.
But sometimes, my heart breaks loose and takes over.
Today I am having one of those mornings. I can’t stop crying and I feel sick to my stomach. It is painful, but it is good for me, too. I need to deal with the other side of things no matter how strong or courageous I may feel most days.
My friend KC posted a link to a youtube video of Tim McGraw singing “If You’re Reading This,” on her blog. KC and her husband lost a good friend in Iraq. I can’t imagine.
This song dredged up all of my fears for my own men. Fears that I normally keep neatly stored away. Fears I choose to minimize in my day-to-day living. I choose to focus on the reality that many more come home safely after a job well done than sacrifice everything. But sometimes…. sometimes I am overwhelmed with the thought that even if the risk is relatively low, it is real. And during those times I break down. I completely break down.
If you have just a moment, would you say a prayer for me and for my brave men? We could sure use it.
Filed under: Catholic Family Life, Deployment, Heart of a Mother, Military Life, Proud of My Kids!, Retired Military Life!
